


do you wish we’d fall in love?

by tsukiyams



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (s), Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Coming Out, Drinking, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Lesbian Character, Love Confessions, POV Sakusa Kiyoomi, Underage Drinking, and depending on where you live it may count as, beer stans dni, but im bri’ish so it doesnt, copious beer slander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29093556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukiyams/pseuds/tsukiyams
Summary: miya atsumu, ever the responsible university student, convinces her roommate sakusa to come to the beach with her in the middle of winter.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	do you wish we’d fall in love?

**Author's Note:**

> LESBIANS !!!  
> this is my first completed femslash fic which is surprising considering i am literally a lesbian  
> its also more sakuatsu. i swear to u i dont like them theyre just so easy to write
> 
> fic contains drinking and mild horniness so beware
> 
> oh yeah and the title is from the saltwater room by owl city

“are you _absolutely_ sure you weren’t dropped on the head as a child?” 

sakusa breaches this question immediately after realising where atsumu has stopped, taking in her surroundings in what really shouldn’t be disbelief at this point. 

“omi-chan, why d’ya ask me that everytime i do or say anythin’?” atsumu pouts.

“you know what, you’re right. i should have saved that question solely for the day that you decided to take me to the _goddamn beach_ in _january_.”

atsumu shoves her with her shoulder before going to rummage through her bag. “well excuse the fuck outta me for wantin’ to do something relaxin’ with ya!” 

“to consider anything i do in your presence to be relaxing would be fundamentally wrong. and anyway, i’m not sure my idea of relaxing would be freezing my ass off in the cold.”

“‘s only...” atsumu pauses to check her weather app, “5°c right now! n’ besides, i’ve got somethin’ that’ll help to warm us up....” 

“unless it’s a walk back home immediately, i don’t want it.” 

“this!” atsumu exclaims, pulling something from her incredibly full backpack.

it’s a pack of six beer cans, which atsumu holds up like a trophy.

sakusa grimaces as she looks at it. “don’t tell me you actually like that stuff?” 

“course not,” atsumu smiles, “but i’m too broke to buy anythin’ myself an’ this was all that ‘samu was willin’ to give me from her fridge.” 

“right.” sakusa mumbles, giving it one last glare before dropping her gaze back to the ocean. “well, don’t expect me to drink any.” 

“don’t be borin’. i got some lemonade to mix with it in case ya really can’t stick it.”

“won’t we need someone sober enough to navigate us back to uni?” 

“s’ only beer, it takes way more than this to get ya proper drunk if we’re sharin’, and besides,” atsumu flips her hair in an exaggerated fashion, “i can hold my alcohol pretty damn well.” 

sakusa pauses, giving her an incredulous look. in a few seconds her mind replays every instance of atsumu embarrassing herself courtesy of alcohol in the few months they’d been roommates.

she considers, for a short second, that atsumu may be genuinely delusional.

“... sure you can,” she settles on saying, leaving atsumu with an offended look on her face as sakusa makes her way to the beach. “are you coming or not?” 

atsumu’s eyes light up and she runs after her, slowing down as they fall into step together, “what changed yer mind?” 

“the fact that if i left you here by yourself you might actually get yourself killed.” 

the blonde nods her head sagely, making her way down the steps. 

“we won’t be goin’ in the ocean, it’ll be freezin’. this is all just for the calming atmosphere.” 

“trust me, miya, i wasn’t planning on going in the ocean anyway.” she rubs her arms a little, attempting to soothe the goosebumps. 

“aww, are ya that cold?” atsumu slips off her bomber jacket and throws it sakusa’s way, “here y’are. i’ll be fine, no need t’ thank me!” 

“wasn’t going to,” sakusa grumbled, hastily pulling the jacket on.

atsumu lays a towel down and sits down, rummaging through her bag again, reaching and pulling out a pocket knife.

“wouldn’t it be nice to come here in the summer an’ play volleyball?” 

she pierces the side of the first beer can and locks her mouth onto the hole before it can spray everywhere.

“why did you just do that?” 

atsumu turns to her and attempts to respond with a muffled “do what?” through the rapidly growing mouthful of beer, but ends up nearly choking in the process and promptly gives up.

“stabbing it, why did you do that?”

the blonde holds up a finger, silently asking her to wait, before she guzzles the rest of the can as quickly as possible. once it’s empty she crushes it and tosses it back into her bag.

“‘cause it’s fun, y’should try it!” 

“fuck off,” sakusa responds, leaning back, “i’m not drinking that horse piss without a mixer, let alone downing it in one go.” 

“so borin’,” atsumu teases, but respects her wishes, fishing out her neglected water bottle from the depths of her bag. 

she pours the remaining water out into the sand and fills the bottle with lemonade, cracking open a beer can and pouring it in with it. she closes the bottle and swirls it around a little before handing it to sakusa. 

“one shandy fer lil’ miss expensive taste over here.” 

sakusa hesitates a little. “...your water bottle?” 

“fer fucks sake omi-chan, unless you want ta walk home n’ get some damn beer glasses then yes, my water bottle. this ain’t the first time i’ve had alcohol in this thing and it ain’t about ta be the last either, so just take it.” 

finally, she snatches it from atsumu’s hand and takes a sip, frowning at the bitter taste.

once she gets used to it, atsumu’s words process in her mind. she twists her head round to look at her in shock.

“you’ve drank during games!?” 

the blonde blinks at her before throwing her head back in a laugh. 

“yer face! course not, ya moron! imagine tryin’ ta play volleyball while sloshed? ya wouldn’t last a minute!” atsumu giggles, reaching for another beer can, “nah, i just meant durin’ other times when i had nothin’ else to use. like now, fer example.” 

she cracks the second can and drinks it down in record time, wiping her mouth once she finishes. 

“aren’t you meant to pace yourself with alcohol?” sakusa judges, taking another modest sip of her shandy.

“let’s jus’ say i ain’t drinkin’ this shit fer the taste, omi-omi. would _you_ wanna savour it?” 

“good point,” sakusa agrees. things fall silent.

atsumu gets up and dances on her toes a little, clearly restless. “i’m gonna go down to the shoreline after all. ya alright to stay back here?” 

sakusa nods, and watches her walk to the ocean. her blonde ponytail swishes as she moves. it’s almost graceful, until she trips on the sand and falls face first into the shallow saltwater.

both girls erupt in giggles, though sakusa tries to mask it.

“i’m alright!” atsumu shouts and holds a thumbs up, once she manages to stumble to her feet again. 

“i don’t care!” sakusa shouts back, holding a matching thumbs up. 

even with the distance, sakusa can see her pouting. ~~it’s cute.~~

she just stands there for a while, the no doubt freezing water washing over her ankles with each little wave. without her talking it’s a lot easier for sakusa to appreciate the soothing sound of the ocean. 

her shirt is fluttering in the breeze, albeit slightly since it’s weighed down with water after her trip-up. the sun is sinking into the horizon too, now, painting the thick clouds in pink and amber. sunbeams spill out from the edges of atsumu’s broad silhouette. sparkles dance on the surface of the water.

it’s really picturesque. if sakusa was a tad more shameless maybe she’d try to secrely take a photo. 

perhaps it’s better this way, though. getting to keep this view to herself. never having to risk someone else seeing it. she can live with simply keeping it in her mind.

jesus, when did she get so sentimental? 

probably when she got alcohol in her system. she sighs. takes another reluctant drink.

in just a few minutes atsumu seemingly gets bored with standing in cold water. her bangs are damp and plastered to her forehead, sakusa notices when she comes back to sit by her. still, she’s almost inhumanly pretty.

she loses her balance as she sits, their arms gently brushing against each other for a fraction of a second. there’s still some sand clinging to her, judging by the coarse feeling.

her skin is really cold, sakusa realises. if you paid attention you could hear her teeth chattering as well. 

_what an idiot,_ sakusa thinks, almost pitying her. without the jacket she only had a t-shirt and shorts on, not to mention the water that’s now cooling against her skin. only god knows why she thought to dress like that in this weather. miya atsumu’s mind works in mysterious ways.

not that sakusa was complaining entirely, what with the shorts.

like many, atsumu had fallen victim to the freshman 15, but it seemed to only be doing her more favours. the thick muscle of her thighs was now accompanied with a slight layer of fat, plush and supple, filling out her clothes really nicely.

all at once, sakusa catches herself, somehow managing to stop her thoughts in their tracks. atsumu’s gaze catches hers, and for a short second she’s paranoid that atsumu can tell exactly what she’s thinking. eyes are the windows into the soul after all. or something like that. 

sakusa averts her stare as soon as possible, trying to will away her blush and pretending to find the sand interesting.

_great. just great._

she takes a huge gulp of her drink to distract herself and manages not to grimace at the taste this time.

“suddenly developed a taste for it, huh?” atsumu smirks, nudging sakusa with her elbow.

the younger pulls her arm away, glaring a little. “something like that.”

the truth is that sakusa has promptly decided that she is, in fact, too sober for this (this being her sudden realisation that atsumu has thighs, incredibly nice ones at that) and resolves this by polishing off her drink as quickly as she can bear it and silently requesting a top-up. 

“yer the boss,” atsumu murmurs, cracking open another beer, “we’ve only got two left after this one. we can split em evenly, three fer you an’ three fer me.” 

sakusa nods, absently taking the bottle back and downing it.

“shit, slow down!”

“coming from you, that’s pretty rich, miya,” she snarks, but puts the drink down for now.

“well,” atsumu responds, getting up and dusting herself off, “i’m a lil’ more used to it than you.”

“i know that much at least. i probably don’t know the half of it.”

“yeah, thankfully,” atsumu laughs, “an’ that’s fer the best.” 

“why?” sakusa questions, feeling like teasing her all of a sudden, “did you have a rendezvous with some guy you’d rather forget? something equally as embarrassing?” 

“a guy!” atsumu exclaims, clapping her on the shoulder, “that’s not a funny joke, omi.” 

“joke?” 

“you... aren’t jokin’?”

sakusa shakes her head a little, eyebrows furrowing. 

atsumu’s laughter stops and all of a sudden she’s giving sakusa a long, pensive look, eyes all glazed and solemn. 

it’s probably starting to hit her, sakusa figures. the alcohol. it’s all over her cheeks, glowing crimson. it’s in the wobble of her frame.

she draws a breath, one cheek propped up on her fist.

“boys ain’t my thing, omi-chan,” she says plainly after a few seconds. her smile is shaky, but there’s conviction in her voice. “honestly, i thought ya knew already.”

the words take a second to register, but no time at all to kick sakusa’s heart rate into high gear. 

“i had no idea.” she whispers breathlessly.

“well now ya do, huh? i’m hopin’ it ain’t an issue or anythin’, cause i quite liked bein’ ya friend.” 

it’s bizarre to hear subtle traces of fear in atsumu’s voice. bizarre and unpleasant. sakusa tries to will herself to make some sort of noise.

atsumu, who was a sports player but had droves of guys obsessed with her as if she was a pop idol or something. it had never even occured to sakusa, not for a second-

“omi?” atsumu asks. her voice is breaking now. sakusa needs to say something.

“it’s... it’s not an issue.” 

atsumu lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. her shoulders sag a little.

“i am too, since we’re talking about this,” sakusa continues, coughing a little. she takes another drink of shandy. tries to wash away the dryness in her throat. “a...” 

“lesbian?” atsumu supplies, eyes widening in surprise.

“yeah. that.” 

sakusa hadn’t really given it any thought, until recently. it felt strange to admit it to someone. especially since the someone in question was miya atsumu. it’s relieving, though, being able to say it without any of the fear of rejection.

the blonde just nods. she turns her gaze to the ocean again. “what’re the chances, huh?”

silence stretches on for a while. atsumu breaks it by reaching for another beer, probably sensing the need for a subject change.

“we ain’t finishin’ these fast enough, if ya ask me. we don’t wanna be headin’ back at midnight after all. do ya want me to have yer third, or can ya manage?”

 _fuck it_ , she decides, taking the water bottle and downing the rest of her second shandy.

“this never gets more pleasant.” she grumbles, swallowing back a gag, “go on then, last one.” 

she hands the empty bottle back to atsumu.

“that’s the spirit!” she cheers, pouring her one last drink. sakusa takes a large drink from it, figuring that if she drinks it more quickly it’ll be gone faster.

atsumu cracks her own final beer can and starts to drink it down.

 _it’s almost impressive,_ sakusa thinks, watching her friend rapidly chug this can of beer like some sort of parched dog, _in a strange, mildly disgusting way._

once she finishes, she groans a little.

“i can’t believe that’s it. i wish we had enough ta get proper hammered, y’know?” 

sakusa honestly doesn’t know. she is perfectly fine with three beers, thank you very much.

atsumu probably isn’t feeling it as much as her though, in fairness. sakusa had drank before but never in this short a space of time. theres a dull buzzing under her skin. she feels ready to run a marathon and sleep forever all at the same time. 

she does neither, of course. she remains sitting by atsumu, inhaling the salty air. the coldness of it is sharp and fresh. she finds she doesn’t mind it.

“i never liked the beach before,” sakusa says, turning to her.

“we didn’t hafta come here,” atsumu mumbles, “i know i was tryna convince you but i really woulda went back home with ya if y’d really wanted it.” 

sakusa shakes her head a little, “i didn’t mind it this time. even though i’m freezing.” 

“yeah, sorry ‘bout the weather. but it’s nice havin’ the place to ourselves, huh? no one to bother us.” 

“all we’ve done is sit here, what could we possibly do that’d be benefitted by us being alone?” 

atsumu flushes red, and not from the alcohol this time. she averts her gaze.

“i-i could think of a few things.” 

“like what?” sakusa asks, even though she knows. she wonders if atsumu will say it. 

“i dunno,” she stammers, cheeks getting redder, “smoke weed or somethin’?” 

they both know it’s not what either of them were thinking, but it’s easier just to move on.

“i would genuinely rather die than get stoned with you.” 

“aww, really?” the blonde whines, jostling sakusa a little, “we could do it! i could ask sunarin, i’m sure she’d give me some if i asked.” 

“it’s not happening.” 

atsumu gives a frown, flopping dramatically onto sakusa’s shoulder. 

“yer comfy, omi-omi.” she murmurs, “c’n i have some of ya shandy?” 

“knock yourself out,” sakusa replies, passing her the water bottle, “i don’t like it anyway. you can finish it if you want.” 

atsumu has absolutely no qualms doing this, necking the rest of it in what seemed like seconds. 

“the lemonade really does make it more bearable, kinda makes me wish i’d mixed mine n’ all. suppose there’s always next time.” 

sakusa felt a usual remark wanting to make its way up, a ‘there isn’t going to be a next time,’ but somehow she finds it’d be a little too disingenuous. she stays quiet instead, enjoying the pleasant buzz and the sound of calm waves and the weight of atsumu’s head on her shoulder. 

“‘s easier to think like this, ‘cause i can’t see yer face.” 

“huh?” sakusa asks, moving to look at atsumu in confusion.

atsumu smiles. her eyes are a little glassy. sakusa guesses this is probably the most tipsy she’s going to get. 

“really can’t think when yer around, ‘s proper annoyin’ sometimes. thought of gettin’ a room change n’ all.” 

“i can’t quite tell what you’re trying to say here.” the beer has clouded her brain just slightly. is atsumu being mean to her?

“god. i don’t know, yer just...” atsumu slurs a little, trailing a blunt, calloused thumb across sakusa’s cheek. she swallows hard. “yer just... real pretty, omi-chan.” 

atsumu twirls some of the loose black curls around her finger and then lets them go, watching them spring a little. she giggles slightly.

“yeah,” she continues, “too pretty. s’ been hard to hold back, these past couple months...” 

“from what?” 

“you’ve gotta know. y’can’t make me say it. makin’ me say it is too cruel, omi-chan. s’ hard enough thinkin’ it, dreamin’ n’ thinkin’ n’ wantin’ all the damn time.” 

“you don’t,” sakusa mumbles, looking at her shyly, much more vulnerable than she’s comfortable with, “you don’t have to _say_ it...”

realisation dawns in her soft brown eyes and her smile grows just a tad larger. her eyes linger slightly, still hesitant. she runs a hand down sakusa’s arm and to her hand, nudging a little.

“yer hands are much warmer than mine are, huh?” 

“well,” sakusa reasons, trying to keep her voice even, “i still have your jacket on. maybe that’s why.” 

“maybe,” she nods, interlacing their fingers.

sakusa hadn’t noticed before, but the jacket is really quite big on her. it isn’t that atsumu’s taller, theyre just about the same height, but she’s a lot broader, certainly. the collar slips off sakusa’s shoulder a little.

“can i tell you somethin’? and ya can’t laugh.” atsumu asks. her breath clouds between them, faces inches apart. her fingers are ice cold. 

“can’t make any promises, miya,” she jokes.

the blonde huffs a little, eyes darting away in nervousness. 

“well the only reason i brought along the beer in the first place was ‘cause i...” she trails off a little, “i wanted the courage ta do this. but m’ still... fuckin’ terrified...” 

“do what?” sakusa says, trying to prompt her a little, “i won’t know what you mean unless you show me.” 

“jeez, omi-chan...” atsumu whines, squeezing her hand tighter. 

some seconds pass. both of them are acutely aware of the fact that there’s no going back after this.

they’re so close now that sakusa can feel the heat radiating off of atsumu’s face. she closes her eyes. braces for impact.

atsumu traces her jaw first, takes her chin in her hand and tilts it up a little. more time passes. sakusa begins to wonder if she’s going to do it at all. if maybe she’d somehow gotten the wrong idea. 

then she isn’t wondering about anything, because atsumu’s lips collide with hers and her mind goes static.

it’s incredibly gentle, as if she’s afraid of coming on too strong. her lips are sort of chapped, and sakusa makes a mental note to buy her some lip balm. 

distantly, she realises she hasn’t been kissing back, too dazed by the situation. she’s about to fix that, but then atsumu is pulling away. 

“we don’t hafta carry on if ya don’t like it. it’s alright,” atsumu reassures, looking down at her with an apprehensive stare.

“god, just shut up,” sakusa rasps, grabbing her by the t-shirt collar and pulling her back down.

both of them make pleased noises as their lips connect again. atsumu is a little more adventurous this time, trailing a hand down to sakusa’s neck and cocking her head to deepen the kiss. 

when atsumu slips her tongue along the seam of her mouth, both of them forget how to breathe, all racing heartbeats and shaking hands. sakusa hopes to god that her inexperience isn’t too obvious as she opens her mouth and lets her in.

she tries to breathe through her nose, focuses on trying to make it good. everywhere atsumu touches starts to buzz, like she’s leaving scorch marks wherever her fingertips trail. she tastes like cheap beer and cheaper lemonade and yet it’s perfect somehow. 

as they shift together her thigh begins to slip in between sakusa’s, gently nudging. the flesh is soft and warm. sakusa’s hips start twitching and canting slightly without her realising, and it’s at this point that she realises she has to pull away before things really do go too far. 

when she turns her head to the side, breaking the kiss, atsumu chases her a little, before she catches herself and leans back, bracing her hands against the sand. 

she breaks into a breathless grin, chest rising and falling, veins probably coursing with adrenaline. 

“i’ve never done that before,” atsumu admits.

sakusa pauses for a second before giving her a laugh, dripping with sarcasm. “as if, miya.” 

but then atsumu’s expression turns a little sheepish and she scratches her arm a little, avoiding eye contact.

“you’re serious?” sakusa raises her eyebrows, “never? you seemed so confident, though?” 

at that remark the blonde puffs out her chest a little, “i know, right! i’m proper good at gettin’ things right first try, ain’t i?” 

sakusa decides to stay silent, careful not to inflate her ego any further. 

“ya can deny it all ya want, omi-omi, but yer hips didn’t lie~!” 

blood rushes to sakusa’s face and she quickly tries to hide it, getting up and gathering the towel into her arms.

“look at the time, let’s go. now.” 

“but it’s only eig-“ 

“now.” sakusa repeats.

“but i wanted to collect some seashells, can’t we just try ‘n find some seashells before we leave?” atsumu pouts, tugging on her sleeve.

sakusa rolls her eyes. “since when do you care about seashells?” 

“i just want somethin’ as a souvenir, for the day me n’ omi-omi had a steamy makeout!” 

mortified, sakusa shoves her hand away and tries not to blush even more, “a ‘souvenir’ from a beach fifteen minutes away from our university would just be stupid. you can get seashells another day, let’s just go.” 

atsumu makes a fake-swooning expression, “aww, but i wanna remember this day in particular! ‘another day’ won’t be the day we started dating after all, right?”

it’s an astonishingly unsubtle way of asking where they’re at, after today. sakusa recognises it for what it is- atsumu giving her a final chance to back out of this. whatever ‘this’ is.

_not a fucking chance, miya._

“you can get _one_ seashell.” sakusa grumbles after a pause. if she didn’t know better she’d think she saw atsumu sighing in relief.

“aight! let’s pick out a good one!” she yells giddily, grabbing sakusa’s hand and rushing down to the shore again.

“shit, slow down!” 

they paced along the waterline for a while. unfortunately there really didn’t seem to be many seashells around. 

atsumu must have spotted one eventually, because she rushed ahead and snatched it up right before the sea could take it away.

“got one, omi, look!” she shouts, holding up what looked like a conch shell.

“cool,” sakusa yells back, “can we go home now?” 

all she gets in response is a giggle and a “come here” hand gesture.

when she catches up to atsumu, she presses the shell to sakusa’s ear, making her flinch away on instinct.

“it’s one of them that ya can hear the ocean in, d’ya hear anythin’, do ya?”

“well shut up or i won’t be able to hear anything except your dumbass voice, will i?” she snaps, trying to concentrate on the sound the shell makes.

if you listened very, very closely, you could slightly hear a noise that sounds vaguely similar to the ocean, if you really stretch the definition.

it’s a pleasant sound, nonetheless. soothing. she takes the shell from atsumu.

for once, sakusa decides to humour her.

“yes, sort of. let’s go now.” 

atsumu took her hand again. “this was real lucky, i was scared we wouldn’t find anythin’! that woulda been shitty.” 

“oh come off it,” sakusa rolls her eyes, “i’m sure you’d still be remembering this day every five seconds, what with all the sand that’ll be in our shoes for the next several years. i’m going to complain about that forever, by the way.” 

“yer right...” atsumu frowns, “we shoulda brought sandals instead, huh?” 

“no, _you_ should have brought sandals. i had no idea we were coming here until it was too late.” 

“omi!” she whines, shoulder-barging her, “couples share everything, y’know, and that includes blame for stupid decisions!”

“meeting you was a stupid decision,” sakusa grumbles, giving her a glare.

“maybe,” atsumu says, flashing a toothy grin, “but you can’t say you regret it, can ya?” 

sakusa falls quiet for a few moments and takes another look at who she supposes is now her girlfriend. her shittily dyed blonde hair, matted with ocean water. the soaked outfit that’s about two seasons too early. a bright alcohol flush that’s still lingering on her face. 

slowly, she breathes in, the scent of sweat and salt filling her lungs. the sand in her shoes is beginning to itch and she’s shivering from the bitter cold of a january evening.

she feels the ridges of the seashell dig into her palm. a reminder.

“no,” she admits truthfully, squeezing atsumu’s hand a little tighter. “no, i can’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> exactly five years after the events of this fic atsumu proposes to sakusa by badly performing 500 miles by the proclaimers on this very same beach


End file.
